If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
