North Korea, Best Korea!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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