If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
