I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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