sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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