Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
