When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
