She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
