Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
