I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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