I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
