belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
