tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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