hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
