I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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