Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
