I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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