Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
