Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
