Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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