haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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