How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
