New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
