Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
