make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
