I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
