I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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