I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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