i just wanna soil my oats bro
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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