i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
