well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
