Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
