I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
