sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You need a sexual gate keeper
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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