Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
