I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
