the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
