Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
