you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
