I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
