After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
