Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
