The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
