It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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