I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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