if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The power of my boobs compel you
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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