I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
