just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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