I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
