Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
