With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
