And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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