maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
