I cockslap morals
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
